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Blossoming from Grief



In 2017 I lost my darling husband, Jason Musick, in a tragic accident, changing my life within seconds. It seems almost needless to say, but after such a tremendous, heart-shattering loss, many parts of my life were put on hold, this blog included.

Truth told I wasn't sure how to proceed with my blog; much of it was based on my life as it existed before his death. The parties we threw, the dinners we cooked, the house we made a home, the vintage lifestyle we lead, the music we enjoyed together. To me those were the products of our love, the promise that we would live a full life together saying "yes" always, especially to the magic life had to offer. Much of the entries, though they were intended to apply to anyone in a relationship or not, were none-the-less from my perspective which was lovingly based on my marriage and partnership that had been in the making for 12 years. How does one write about doing wifely things when one is no longer a wife? My identity as a wife was lost the night he passed.

I'm no longer steeped in the rituals of my marriage and I'm no longer in our home, rendering much of my blog posts irrelevant to me for a spell. To be honest, I found my normal home keeping and social activities to be futile efforts without him to share them with. And, in fact, I often forgot they were still an option. 

But as Spring emerges and my life carries on in, frankly, quite beautiful and extraordinary ways, I'm blossoming into what feels like myself again. Coming from beneath both the clouds of winter and the shadows of grieving, I'm arriving at the realization that with losing him, I did not in fact lose all parts of myself. I'm still a woman who enjoys all the accoutrements of a life well lived; a nicely set table with a pretty tablecloth and linens, a lovingly cooked meal from fresh ingredients, the musings of etiquette and its application to modern day life, and of course all the lovely dresses one can don to make an ordinary day an extraordinary one. I can joyfully report that I'm finding myself taking part in all of these things again as my metaphorical petals begin to unfurl more and more each day.

I hope, and my intention is, to continue to inspire those of you who adore living a vintage inspired life in a modern world, but even more so, I hope to inspire those of you whose lives have been derailed by tragedy. Though I often feel that somehow my train has jumped tracks and I'm living a life parallel to the life I once had, the truth is, this is my current life. No matter the proverbial train,  it's more important than ever for me to find meaning in every flower petal Spring has to offer, to find beauty in every moment spent with loved ones, to open my heart to love again, to enjoy the simple abundance that exists in our everyday lives.  

And so, I've found myself not only willing, but excited to begin again with old endeavors (including this blog) and new ones as well. Only moving forward, I of course, start anew with the perspective of a widow, but more importantly, of a woman who is courageous enough to find life stunning and worthy, despite all heartache. May we all find each day to be as shiny as it deserves, because really, we are blessed with all this and heaven too.  

Thank you to all of you who reached out to me. Your notes, flowers, and sentiments were much needed and I felt loved by each and every one of you. I look forward to sharing this adventure with you, may there be much much more to come.

Much love,
Jolie Goodnight


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